Well, if you are still with me after yesterday, then I guess that like me…you too want MORE for your child than just the status quo. More than traditional parenting or even accepted autism strategies can offer.
Welcome abroad the spaceship… #HomeCrazzyHome!
I can’t say it enough…
It REALLY is all about…
PARADIGM!!!
How you see things…
- Society…
- Experts…
- Rules…
- AWE-tism…
- Pathological Demand Avoidance…
- Your child…
- Yourself…
- And especially your role as parent.
Yesterday we began to chip away at those solid walls we call ‘society’ and its ensuant ‘rules’. Codes of conduct. Pressures. Yes…DEMANDS!
I could spend days trying to convince you that those ‘rules’ our children refuse to learn/obey are not necessarily in their best interest…or ours. But the truth is…
That is a place you you have to come to in yourself…in your time.
And until you can/do, much of what I say will be hard, if not impossible, to implement.
So rather than beleaguer the point…or beat a dead dog, if like me, you get it already, I want to talk today about your role as parent. How you see it? What you believe?
In his ground breaking book, Escape from Childhood, John Holt the father of unschooling made this shocking statement…
…ever since men formed societies in which some people bossed others, children have fulfilled this very important function. Every adult parent, however lowly or powerless, had at least some one that he could command, threaten, and punish. No man was so poor, even a slave, that he could not have these few slaves of his own. Today, when most “free” men feel like slaves, having their own homegrown slaves is very satisfying. Many could not do without them.
Those words were written almost half a century ago. I was the child-slave about which Holt spoke. Unfortunately, little has improved for our children. In fact, it could be argued that they are more enslaved to parents…society…and rules than I was.
I’ll be honest…his words seemed harsh and shocking even to my liberal, non-conformist, CRAZZY self.
But think about it for a moment…
Think seriously about how your parents raised you? Did you hear things like…
- I’ll give you something to cry to about…
- Shut-up…
- If I hear one more word out of your smart-elky mouth…
- You ain’t too old for your wants to hurt you…
How did you feel? Do you think that type of parenting really helped you? And take that back to the earlier ‘homework’…are you happy? How did their efforts contribute to that…happiness or otherwise? Do you want to emulate them?
When I became a mother, my general parenting rule was…
Think of how MY mother would handle the situation…and do the exact opposite!
But it is not just our parents that instil views on parenthood…
But more about that one tomorrow. For now chew and spit on those questions…and I do highly recommend John Holt’s Escape from Childhood. Though as I said…this one was RADICAL and challenging even for me.
Self-Directed Learning & Neurodiversity 