Okay so if R-E-S-P-E-C-T is NOT…
Behavior intended to please your parents
nor…
Politeness, honour, and care shown towards someone or something that is considered important.
What do I believe it is?
- a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
- due regard for the feelings, wishes, or rights of others. (Google)
- admiration felt or shown for someone or something that you believe has good ideas or qualities
- a feeling that something is right or important and you should not attempt to change it or harm it
- the feeling you show when you accept that different customs or cultures are different from your own and behave towards them in a way that would not cause offence.
You choose…any…or ALL of those work just fine.
Respect should also be earned and always be a two-way street.
Yes, even with little humans…especially with little humans.
This is always a big one for me. Especially when it comes to differences and special needs. Even more so with sensory issues…
Why is it that society, i.e. the neurotypical world, demand that the #neurodivergent change or mask to fit them? If supposedly, the autistic lack empathy, then should it not be the ’empathetic’ majority which makes the accommodations?
When people visit our #HomeCrazzyHome, they may quickly notice a few differences like:
Big people stop talking and listen when the little humans have something to say.
Why? Because generally speaking adults can hold onto their trains of thought for longer. Little humans cannot…especially not #neurodivergent ones. If you make them wait until you have finished speaking then they may forget what they wanted to say…and that is incredibly frustrating. We RESPECT that.
PanKwake screams ‘Shut Up’ at us.
Not all the time, mind you. Sometimes she politely asks us to be quiet. But we recognize that IF/WHEN she is screaming, it is NOT her being willful, rude or disrespectful. She is in sensory overload…her needs are immediate…and she needs to make her point. We the big people RESPECT that.
I do things for PanKwake that most parents would not do for a child of similar age.
Because I understand that she cannot always do those things for herself. When you spend all your focus, energy, and time combating sensory overload, trying to organize your thoughts, and communicate them effectively to others…getting yourself a cup of water maybe too much for you. When you have dyspraxia or fiddly fingers as PanKwake calls it then plugging the charger into your iPad is not that easy. Yes, it tires me you, but I have come to realize that PanKwake tries…she does do for herself…when she can. And I RESPECT that.
I am certain there are many others but the point is that we the big people listen to the needs of little humans…that we show them respect by acknowledging and accommodating those needs. We MODEL what RESPECT truly is.
And without being told…they show RESPECT in return. Not Always. Especially not at first. But overtime as they feel understood and respected they feel the genuine desire to return that RESPECT.
And that is the thing…all the rules and manners and demands for respect in the world cannot make a child FEEL deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
That is what lasts…even if it does take longer to build.
Self-Directed Learning & Neurodiversity 
Doing for others – even though I’m perfectly capable of making tea, I appreciate when my husband brings me a cup of tea or a glass of wine. Not sure that’s any different than you helping PanKwake with her iPad. Nothing wrong with doing things for each other or offering a hand.
Yes, agree…I also serve Cookie Monster more than most modern partnerships would. With PanKwake though it goes a bit beyond even that. But that is okay.