lord Soley meet RadiCool Subversive…

Yes, lord Soley…

Our #HomeCrazzyHome regularly teaches RadiCool subversive ideas to my #HappilyAutistic and #ProudlyPDA little human.

Things like…

  • Being #Neurodivergent is Auti-some!
  • You have the right to have your additional needs met as every bit as much as the blind girl or the deaf boy or the older man in the wheelchair.
  • Society is the one with the lack of empathy, not the #ActuallyAutistic.
  • You have incredible strengths and gifts…more even than the challenges you face. We all face challenges. And everything will be OK…you WILL find your place in this world. With or without learning to read.
  • …and the most important one of all…We actually encourage PanKwake to THINK FOR HERSELF!

And most definitely those Rights of the Child…except in #HomeCrazzyHome we take them one step further…we use the words ‘little human’. Why? Because it is more empowering…it reminds people that ‘children’ are humans too. And most of society does not seem to get that.

So in my sleep-deprived and RadiCool subversive state I thought to be fair I would give you an accounting of how #RadiCoolUnschooling at #HomeCrazzyHome satisfies the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child.

Article 1 (definition of the child)
Everyone under the age of 18 has all the rights in the Convention.

Actually at #HomeCrazzyHome, we believe in everyone being child-like. #HomeCrazzyHome is a safe space for ‘children’ of all ages. Since it is that time of the year…To kids from one to 92 (Christmas Song). It is amazing how liberating that can be. In fact, you might want to how creating a culture of safe to be kids zones could actually address the ever-increasing mental health crisis.

Article 2 (non-discrimination)
The Convention applies to every child without discrimination, whatever their ethnicity, gender, religion, language, abilities or any other status, whatever they think or say, whatever their family background.

While we enjoy our quiet times at #HomeCrazzyHome, when we do ‘people’ it is irregardless of any of those things. All are welcome and embraced…even ‘schoolers’. (That was meant to be funny.)

Article 3 (best interests of the child)
The best interests of the child must be a top priority in all decisions and actions that affect children.

Does getting up half a dozen times last night to find nail polish and make-up, water, jacket potato, and I can’t even remember them all satisfy this one? While there are three humans in this #HomeCrazzyHome, Cookie Monster and I both place PanKwake’s needs first. Does that mean she always gets what she wants? No, but we always consider what she needs as equal to or more important than our own.

Article 4 (implementation of the Convention)
Governments must do all they can to make sure every child can enjoy their rights by creating systems and passing laws that promote and protect children’s rights.

And…we ensure that others respect PanKwake’s and other little humans when in our #HomeCrazzyHome. One thing that we do differently than most is to let big humans know that in this safe zone…Kids rule and parents drool.

Our pantry is the best example of that. It is full of Fruit Shoots, crisps/chips, candy, and I even regularly make homemade cookies. When little humans come here, they know that if it is reachable in the pantry then it is fair game. No need to ask politely. Or even say ‘thank you’. And no, limits other than once it is gone, it is gone until next time.

More than one parent shakes their heads at that, but our #HomeCrazzyHome, our rules.  You don’t like them, then don’t come back.

Article 5 (parental guidance and a child’s evolving capacities)
Governments must respect the rights and responsibilities of parents and carers to provide guidance and direction to their child as they grow up, so that they fully enjoy their rights. This must be done in a way that recognises the child’s increasing capacity to make their own choices.

Sleep is the clearest example of how #HomeCrazzyHome recognizes the increasing capacity of PanKwake to make her own choices. About three years ago, when she was eight…it was just me and her then…I gave her autonomy over her sleep schedule.

I was tired of forcing sleep medication on her because the ‘experts’ had defined appropriate sleep hours for a child. I was tired of making this most basic bodily function a battlefield between me and my daughter. So I stopped the melatonin and had a long talk with PanKwake about rights and responsibilities. I used the chain locks that were out of her reach and I slept less than twelve feet away in that tiny London flat.

You know what? The seizures that she had been having since she was two and a half disappeared. To be clear, that is ANECDOTAL evidence and no doctor would recognize it veracity. Oh, and PanKwake generally gets ‘enough’ sleep…between five and thirteen hours depending upon what is happening the next day with her friends and #HomeEd group. She clearly get the average of eight to ten hours per day/night. She just gets them on varying schedules…set by her body.

Oh, and we still come under attack from ‘experts’ who disagree with us.

It is not just sleep though. It is too many others to enumerate. But lest you think that PanKwake is some selfish terror who thinks that what she wants rules the world, let’s look at how we as the bigger children or older humans…as parents fulfill our rights and responsibilities to guide and direct our little human.

Let’s use cussing as an example. No family in this world can insulate their little human from hearing curse words…bad language…whatever you want to call it. Well, not short of the abuse that Soley thinks we #HomeEdders do…locking our children up and never taking them out of the house.

Some families use blame and shame techniques…calling certain words…’bad’. Others apply their religions to why not to repeat certain words. But anyone who knows me knows I cuss…like the proverbial sailor. I do not buy that bullsh^t about cussing being a sign that you lack the intelligence to use other words. I have an extensive vocabulary. And let me tell you…there are still times when the only word that is appropriate is the F-word.

What is more…I never made a big deal of it when PanKwake or any of my other offspring cussed (AFTER I left that cult/church that is). But at the same time, we discuss the language that we use in terms of RESPECTING others.

For instance, PineApple and Cookie Jr are PanKwake’s best friends. Their family holds firm beliefs. When PanKwake first began having them over regularly she and we sat down and had a long talk. You see I have never known a serious gamer whose favorite word was not the F-bomb. PanKwake used it extensively back then.

But we talked about how when her friends were over, if she used that word then their parents might not feel comfortable with them visiting. She got that…and I think in the year and a half they have been friends she only let one or two much milder ones slip out. In fact, she has become so careful around them that only on the worst of rage quits does she ever use the F-word at all anymore…Her choice not our rules.

We have used the same methods with hygiene as well. PanKwake is extremely sensitive to touch…especially water. When she was younger she would take three or four baths a day to self-soother. But in autism sensory modulations change over time, much the same as taste buds can. About two years ago, she became so sensitive to water on her skin that she stopped taking baths and showers all together. I thought it was to do with her changing body image as she approached puberty but by talking with her discovered it was in fact a sensory issue.

Hygiene in fact can be a huge issue for many #ActuallyAutistic. Some because of memory, they simply forget. Others because of the DEMAND associated with bathing. And others like PanKwake because of sensation. Some families use bribery. I tried that…but a trip to DisneyLand was the price that PanKwake placed…on a single shower. Others have been known to strip their humans naked and force them into showers. Obviously from the nature of this blog…that is NOT #HomeCrazzyHome. So what are parents to do then?

At #HomeCrazzyHome our solution has been…wipes and swimming pools. You see according to the only expert on autism that I listen to…PanKwake herself…she still feels the same sensory challenges of water on her skin at the pool BUT she is having so much fun and there is so much to do with waves, boardrider, and slides that the Pros outweigh the Cons. Then afterwards she will gladly use their showers AND foam soap (must be the foam kind though) to shower…to get the chlorine off her skin. So we try to get her to the Leisure Center once a week…though honestly sometimes it is longer than that.

And in between those trips, PanKwake uses baby wipes. Not daily…that too became a battle. But she will use them when her friends are coming over. A couple of times per week on average.

And in between? Cookie Monster and I just ‘deal wif it’ as PanKwake’s personal autism slogan says. To us, respecting her human rights is more important than our olfactory senses. But oh the conversations we have had on this subject. The general consensus from PanKwake is that hygiene is as much about societal norms as science. Perhaps more so. I rarely argue with her logic.

Whether it be cussing or baths, I am quite proud of the RESPECT that PanKwake shows to others. Because to me it is the best kind…genuine respect. Not rules or etiquette that must be adhered to. But honest to goodness…due regard for the feelings, wishes, or rights of others…and…the feeling you show when you accept that customs or cultures are different from your own and behave towards them in a way that would not cause offence. 

That kind of thoughtful and free will decision is TRUE RESPECT. It cannot be forced or demanded. And what is more, I believe that it will last far longer than any rule imposed by parents such as say ‘Thank you’…’take your turn’…or too many others to count.

But that is what is so #RadicalSubversive about #RadiCoolUnschooling at our #HomeCrazzyHome…

First and foremost…we encourage PanKwake to think for herself.

 

 

Published by Tara Cox

Writer of Literary Erotica Real-life, hot sex, deep meaning... In my day job, I am homemaker, home educator, urban farmer, and homesteader at our @HomeCrazzyHome.

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