We have been struggling this week with the worst kind of bullying…
The Silent One!
But instead of me telling you all about it, I let my favorite X-Person do so…
(skip ahead to 1 minute)
They still hate and fear us, its just harder to see because they’re more polite about it.
Yes, the worst of bullies learn to crouch their behavior in outward politeness. But they use it to isolate and ostracize those who are different.
It is an all too common game in schools. The ‘popular’ kid dividing and conquering. Seeking to be the center of attention…to the exclusion of others.
And trust me…
EXCLUSION hurts as bad or worse than sticks or stones or words.
Being pushed aside like dirty, stinky ole’ socks. Your friends abandoning you for this new person.
It is where my nonchalance about people coming and going from our lives comes from. A lesson I learned long, long ago. People don’t stay…so don’t truly let them in.
But when it gets to me…is when taking one friend is not enough. When the ‘in-crowd’ expands…taking in others…through peer pressure or bribery. For the sole purpose of excluding and isolating.
That is when the rest of Raven’s wisdom comes into play…
Just because there’s not a war doesn’t mean there’s peace.You want to teach your students something teach them that. Teach them to fight. Otherwise they might as well live in this house for the rest of their lives.
Just because there’s not a war doesn’t mean there’s peace.
In this society, there are so many ‘games’…falsehoods…deceptions. As a child, growing up with adults for my friends, I never learned those petty games. Then I went to school…and I hated it. I still do.
When you are #neurodivergent, you deal in honesty…bluntness…telling it like it is…say what you mean and mean what you say. This type of bully though is the opposite of that. They appear sweet and kind…often even the teacher’s pet. But when adults are not around, the claws come out. The manipulation. The lies. The deceit.
The worst is….You can never prove their type of bullying…never catch them in it. If you try, then you are the bad one…the troublemaker. They are better at changing their skins than Raven is. Hiding behind their masks.
So what do you do? How do you manage this type of bullying?
Raven gives us both of those answers too. And you do have two options…
And both are good options.
Sometimes the best thing you can do is just walk away. If a friend has chosen this other person…let them. That simple. No, begging or trying to win them back. What I also learned all those years ago was that bullies like this will turn on them too…eventually.
The truth is…there are other people out there. Make new friends. Ones that this bully has no power over. Walk away. Better yet…RUN! These people are bad news.
Of course, sometimes you can’t. Sometimes this bully comes after those friends too. That is when you FIGHT. And you WIN!
Because whether it is sticks, stones, words, or head games…Raven is right! The only thing that bullies understand is…BULLYING.
And I have become expert at that one!