Did you have a good Christmas? Did you get just what you wanted from Santa?
Or were you disappointed and overwhelmed?
Most of the time it is not the specifics of what happened but this one…
Expectations!
They are our worst enemy.
This preconceived and idealized view of the way that life or a person should be. This is especially a problem with our relationships.
Whether with our partners…why can’t you be more XYZ…trying to change them into what we want. Rather than accepting them for who they are. Celebrating all the wonderful things that you saw in them to begin with.
Our little humans. This is the BIGGEST problem with parents today…or ever. The myth that children are tabula rasa…a blank slate. We can train them…create them…to be all that we wanted to be but failed. We can’t.
That is why I don’t use the word children very often…and usually only for emphasis to make that point. From even before birth…they are their own people. Human beings with emotions, thoughts, and feelings all their own. Adults should not try to change that. It will only do one of two things…
- Break them…so much that they spend half their lives or worse never actually recover from it. Or…
- Make them hate you…the root of rebellion.
This is especially important lesson for #AutismParents. Too many of whom waste time and effort grieving the child they EXPECTED. Then they spend more time, effort, AND money trying to turn their #ActuallyAutistic little human into the ‘normal’ child they expected. Those little humans grow up to be angry and hurt #ActuallyAutistic adults.
Instead…
Understand that no one promised you a certain type of child…
Accept responsibility for the one that you have…
Respect the beauty that #neurodivergence brings to your world…
Unconditionally Love that little human…not for what you EXPECTED him to be but for who she is…a perfect #neurodivergent little human…
And when things get a little tough…don’t blame the autism…as the mother of six let me tell you…’normal’ ain’t all it is cracked up to be…so LAUGH and enjoy the little human you do have because it really is…
A Wonderful Life…
Self-Directed Learning & Neurodiversity 