I have just unliked and unfollowed ANOTHER Facebook #AutismParent group. After, of course, having my say.
And I am dancing in my chair to this one…
The thing is…
I do NOT seek these people out. They send me invites to their pages. What is more…I don’t even like or follow a fraction of them. I take the time to actually read and thoughtfully consider what I bring into my circle/tribe/community. There is enough misinformation, myths, and just flat out negativity out there. Especially from #AutismParent types.
So when I do like or follow, I take it seriously. It is not just a numbers game…as it is with some many bloggers. I don’t give a flying *f* if two people or two hundred read this blog day-to-day. As long as it is the ‘right’ people. Those who genuinely put their little human’s needs above their own. Who accept FULL responsibility for their CHOICE to have offspring. Including accepting that no one promised you a ‘normal’ child.
I am called judgemental. My response…
My loyalty lies with the little human. Period. Full stop.
I am NOT going to sit silently by while these people pat their own backs about how wonderful they are doing for forcing their little human to the torture of a hair brush…or to try certain foods…or go to certain places…or baths even. It might not be ABA or CBT but anytime I read words like…
I decided XYZ…if it took all night…
I am NOT going to be silent on such flagrant disregard for the sensory needs of another human being. I am going to challenge your views. Your right to decide what is best for another human being.
I will use the words of another…On Children by Kahlil Gibran…
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
And this does not just apply to our blessed #neurodivergent little humans, but to them ALL.
It is just that our #neurodivergent little humans are the canaries in the mines. They cannot and will not tolerate the bullsh^t. They will make their voices heard…through their behaviors. Yes, they are CHALLENGING…because we, the adults…this society…need our assumptions challenged. We need to listen to THEM.
And to the #ActuallyAutistic community. Are they angry? Alienated? Judgemental? Yes, because their parents…the schools…and this society made them that way. When you are speaking how you feel…and no one listens…it makes you angry. The lack of JUSTICE is called RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION.
I will not sit silently on the side-lines while self-righteous #AutismParents pat themselves on the backs for ‘doing what’s best for my child.’ I will scream and shout…and most importantly question. I will force you to look in the mirror. At your own failings.
What gives me that right? The right to be so judgemental?
Because I walk the walk. Every single day. Am I perfect? Hell, NO! I get it wrong ALL the time. I look in that same mirror that I am holding up to others. And sometimes I don’t like what I see either. Then I APOLOGIZE to PanKwake and anyone else I have hurt. And I change. I do better. And I fail some more.
But what you won’t see is me defending myself. Because I don’t give a sh^t what you or anyone thinks…except PanKwake. She is the only one that I am responsible to…when it comes to this one anyway. And she is the one I think of first…last…and always.
I have been intensely blessed with a partner who is not threatened by that…who not only understands it…but at times outshines me in his efforts to enable PanKwake…a little human who does not carry his DNA even. One who CHOOSE him though.
And a #Community of friends who know that this is no show. This is not a blog or a YouTube video. This is our lives. For all the stories that I share here there are dozens…hundreds…of others just as worthy of inspiring those with the heart, minds, and ears to hear of a different path.
Our tribe sees those moments. They know that it is not just PanKwake but ALL little humans who glean from our fields of Understanding…Acceptance…Respect…Unconditional Love…and Laughter.
Is that judgemental? If being an advocate for little humans, especially the #neurodivergent ones makes me judgemental, so be it. But be warned…I ‘do not go silently into the night’. I scream and shout at injustice. I challenge you, just as I do myself, to look into the mirror that is your little human’s future. To see yourself as they will one day see you.
If you are not willing to be challenged…to look long and hard into that mirror…then PLEASE pretty pretty please…DO NOT send me an invite to your Facebook page, Twitter, blog or whatever.
I do not play the numbers game of friend me and I will friend you. Because I would rather have one honest friend/follower who wants this message that I have been given, then 1 million fakers…just looking to moan or pat themselves on the back for being a ‘good’ #AutismParent and knowing what is best for ‘MY child.’
We have a saying…
Good riddance to bad rubbish.
And I ain’t afraid to use to unlike/unfollow button…AFTER I have had my say.